Back to track

I have been having a very difficult time concerning my PhD. I had lost all interest in this and for quite some time couldn't concentrate on my work. I had got into the habit of procrastination! Always postponing even the simplest jobs... And now I see how much time I have wasted doing that. Not that I could have done otherwise, but what matters is that I am trying to get back to the track. I have finally uploaded the paper which I should have done three months back. I do feel bad about the lost time but at the same time I am happy about my slow progress. I am happy to regain my lost confidence.

Personally, time is not going so good for my family. I lost my uncle (my father's younger brother) unexpectedly the day before yesterday! It is a blow to all of us. I am still not able to come to terms with it and think that its a dream and I will wake up to see that it never happened!

Life is like that!!!

Life has been quite different for me for sometime. It feels like I was in a dream and suddenly I get up and see things are different. Now I realize I have wasted so much time and how stupid I had been to do that! I never thought I would be stuck in this place, without Joy, for such a long time. We have taken some wrong decisions in our lives and things have been so different because of that. It reminds me of the movie 'Run Lola Run'! I wish I too could change certain decisions of my life and make my life a different one. But real life is no movie and we have to accept what we are going through...

I want to make this day a new day for me. I want to change certain things. But first of all I want to change myself, my views. I don't want to make everybody happy anymore. I want to make myself happy before I start to make others happy. I want to be selfish like others. And I want to be alone for sometime...