Yes, its going to be 10 years of our relationship but living apart always except three months of living together in all these years! I wonder how much worth it is living separately like this!!! Today only my husband posted the following in his bike forum:
"I can bet my story will beat everyone else's... I met my wifey 10 yrs back when I was in last yr of highschool (in India). Right after that I went away from home for undergrads (again, in India) and only kept the relation alive by handwritten letters followed by emails. Then a 2 yr job stint when she came to study and we lived in the same town for a year, not together. We did a lot of bike trips on my enfield 350. Unforgettable times. Then I came to the US in 2003 and been living separately ever since. She is still studying for the phd, and might join me here next yr. She visited twice and we got to stay together for a sum total of 3 months in a 10 yr relation. We fought a lot and still do, but less now. The foundation is so strong that nothing will probably sway that around. Agree it is a lot of pain to live like this, but i take it as building a secure future. No wonder i needed the st13 as a painkiller..."
The thread under discussion was "Wife Question". One of the bikers in the forum replied the following:
"3 months in a 10 year relationship....?? You fight a lot and still do... sorry, but that is not really a relationship, more like an acquaintance. I would be surprised if you really even know each other... I could be wrong but I believe it takes more than that to have a real relationship - marriage."
I was happy to see my husband's post until I saw the reply of the other biker. We have so many different views to the same situation. My husband justifies this living apart as "building a secure future". Maybe what he says makes sense to him, he being a practical person but to me it doesn't make any sense because I am a sentimental person. It makes me depressed and sometimes bitter too. Nowadays he says I have become mechanical! When I was all emotional and wanted the emotional support it always led to fights. And now I don't show my emotional side to avoid the fights. And this makes him think that I have become mechanical. I feel bad that I am not able to support him the way he wants and make him suffer for me. But i guess some things can't be avoided. And hope all these things are going to end soon...
"I can bet my story will beat everyone else's... I met my wifey 10 yrs back when I was in last yr of highschool (in India). Right after that I went away from home for undergrads (again, in India) and only kept the relation alive by handwritten letters followed by emails. Then a 2 yr job stint when she came to study and we lived in the same town for a year, not together. We did a lot of bike trips on my enfield 350. Unforgettable times. Then I came to the US in 2003 and been living separately ever since. She is still studying for the phd, and might join me here next yr. She visited twice and we got to stay together for a sum total of 3 months in a 10 yr relation. We fought a lot and still do, but less now. The foundation is so strong that nothing will probably sway that around. Agree it is a lot of pain to live like this, but i take it as building a secure future. No wonder i needed the st13 as a painkiller..."
The thread under discussion was "Wife Question". One of the bikers in the forum replied the following:
"3 months in a 10 year relationship....?? You fight a lot and still do... sorry, but that is not really a relationship, more like an acquaintance. I would be surprised if you really even know each other... I could be wrong but I believe it takes more than that to have a real relationship - marriage."
I was happy to see my husband's post until I saw the reply of the other biker. We have so many different views to the same situation. My husband justifies this living apart as "building a secure future". Maybe what he says makes sense to him, he being a practical person but to me it doesn't make any sense because I am a sentimental person. It makes me depressed and sometimes bitter too. Nowadays he says I have become mechanical! When I was all emotional and wanted the emotional support it always led to fights. And now I don't show my emotional side to avoid the fights. And this makes him think that I have become mechanical. I feel bad that I am not able to support him the way he wants and make him suffer for me. But i guess some things can't be avoided. And hope all these things are going to end soon...
